The 366 days of 2012... and its a wrap

2012 has been a lot of things to different people. No doubt there might have been highs and lows, tears and laughter, joy and pain. To some people they cannot wait to welcome the new year for the chance of a new beginning or better opportunities.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL 

Dream big

It hit me really hard today how its so easy to get stuck and live everyday in a uninspiring and redundant routine.

How is the quality of a well-lived life measured?

Dream big first (the thing is that many people have lost the courage to even do that)
Dream big, Really big
Not stupid, but big

Wake up, pray and work towards it

The son of a Lion is a lion
The son of a Dog is a dog
The son of God is a god
We are children of the Most High God
Our father is the biggest genius
We have the seeds of greatness in us, so we can either let it grow, or let it die

We need to stop sleeping and start dreaming

M'n'M - Money and Marriage.

So during the week, someone asked me ''What sort of financial responsibility will you expect from your husband'. I thought to myself, piece of cake. He will handle the bulk of the bills, not all, just a greater percentage.

I answered that as the breadwinner, I expect that he will handle most of the bills, at least the heavyweights. However, i think that will be dependent on how much he earns in relation to his wife's. If she earns a lot more than her hubby maybe, then she might have to do more, if not, then the gentleman foots the bills.

So he asked, ''What about all the gender equality nonsense. Doesn't it translate to financial responsibilities too?''

Hmm... Well, I will say that the husband is the provider while the wife is in charge of the implementations at home. She ensures that every member of the family is happy and looks good.

I don't know, I might be wrong but one thing I'm sure of is that it is important for intending couples to define and clarify their expectations before they take the plunge into the institution of marriage. There is a tendency to assume that your partner knows what you expect. Wrong move!!!


The question is, is it mandatory/customary for the husband to handle the bulk of the bills? And what is it that wives indeed save for?

Is it true that single men live longer than married man (I heard from a friend)

Because we don't want to kill our husbands, we will help out. Right ladies???

*wink*

Someone like you

When a relationship has run its course, it's time to move on...

It's time to get off the train because you are both going in different directions.

No matter how tough it might be, you need to move on with your own awesome and unique life journey.

It's time to review the lessons and learning points from that relationship, knowing that it was fun while it lasted ... but it's time to move on.

When you meet your soul-mate, you will understand why your previous relationships did not last

XOXO

Marriage is not do AND die

Many unmarried men and women hope, crave and pray to get married as soon as they have the means and a partner. Meanwhile married couples know that marriage is not particularly (“beans”) easy

Just recently, I heard very disturbing news of a young seemingly perfect happy couple and friends of the family. Smashingy handsome husband and light skinned hot gorgeous-looking wife. The type of situation that when you see them together, you pray for a married life just like theirs because it looks so perfect. Looks can be veryyyyyy deceiving.

Few nights ago, some peace making had to be done as the wife desperately called for help because she had been locked out of her house by her husband. She is a banker in one of these top banks in Nigeria. She works on the island and lives on Ikorodu, suburb, more like an outskirt of Lagos and she’s being getting home really late, around 11pm. 

Apparently, her husband locks her out of their house and beats her blue black for coming home late. In addition, he will call her boss to accuse them of having an affair, so everybody in the office knows the situation because she comes in with some fresh and other fading scars and that spurs ruthless gossip about her in the office. Plenty of more gossip in her neigborhood too because most times she is locked outs, she camps at her neighour’s place and the news is up and around.

During a heart to heart, she explained how tough things had been, that for about two years now, he had stopped paying the bills- 2 children’s school fees, domestic bills, etc. Everything had been on her. I’m sure its not convenient and fun for anybody much less a woman to get home that late but that’s the circumstance she’s in and should be handled maturely.

What is baffling is that this man is also in the banking sector and is aware of how tight  and tedious things are. He is lucky that he works in Ikorodu, where he stays. His wife said she has applied to be moved to Ikorodu branch but that hasn’t happened. To add icing to the cake, his parents live in the same compound with them but in different apartments and have never intervened or even accommodated her. 

Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. Its the continuation of the rest of one's life, with someone else. Many people say their wedding vows, something about promising to love each other in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer for as LONG as they both shall live. It seems we just say those part of the vows as default and dont seem to realise that there will definitely be lean times and fat times, ups and downs, and you are promising to live together through it. Her husband should get a grip, man up and act responsible.

It irritates me when I hear or see an able-bodied man beat-up a woman. I mean that is the highest level cowardice ever. I mean if you need to fight and flex your muscles, pick your match.

A very dicey situation for the lady because I think her husband wants her to come home early and that obviously will not work ASAP on her present job. So probably getting a less demanding job is the way out but that might mean less pay, how then will she take care of 2 children, ONE big crybaby- her hubby and her extended family. On the other hand, Is it that easy to get another job, just like that? How and what does one advise her to do? Let her leave the abusive relationship before she loses her life or just manage the thing like that and hope he doesnt kill her in rage one day? *sigh*

Its not easy to advise and persuade her to leave before the stress, unhappiness or the beating kills her or does one tell her to remain in the house and “marriage” and keep praying, hoping for a change?

Personally, I dont pray for a situation like that but I will never remain in an abusive relationship. 

It is however her decision and she has to figure it out.

Waiting for Friday to exhale

Is it just me or is a coincidence that i see a lot of jubilant messages on Fridays and sober messages starting Sunday night, he he...  People seem to be happier on Fridays, extremely sober on Sunday nights and are super uptight on Monday mornings


Hmm...*wink*

Finding you

I've learnt a couple of lessons on knowing your purpose in Life.
Life is so unpredictable... and it's a gift.
We cannot say for sure when it will end, and as such we cannot afford to waste time on frivolities
Everyone is unique in his or her makeup/personality and as such has a unique vision and purpose.
The earlier we discover our vision and purpose in Life, the clearer and saner Life will be.
It takes courage and grace to step out of one's 'convenient' or 'safe' routine and step into the unknown and walk in line with your vision
BUT,

Only when we are walking in 'OUR' path, we find fulfillment and satisfaction.

Patriotism vs foolhardiness

Watching horror movies (foreign of course) for me is very exhausting. Too many highs, nerves and extreme tension, Very common and baffling every time I watch is that every time something bad is clearly about to happen, the characters always want to confront or at least see what’s going on or what the terror is (whether they are afraid or not). As much I try not to compare, I cannot help but imagine Nigerians faced with like situations, if we hear gun shots anywhere, we would NEVER head towards the shot to “find out” what the situation is, we will either take cover, or run fast and hard. Unlike the movie characters that are inquisitive to know what’s making that eerie sound and go ahead to ‘look for the trouble’. This morning, on our way to work, around a couple of minutes after 5am, I was still very much sleepy and was dozing. The next thing I felt was the car came to an abrupt halt and started reversing, tensed, I immediately opened my eyes, looking around, I asked him why he was reversing and he pointed just ahead of us, there was a crowd of about 100 people at 5am, they were standing in the middle of the road, I saw some holding sticks. Yep, that was enough reason to reverse and escape. We were not particularly interested in “investigating”, instead more of safety first. We took the next exit. What makes Americans, for example, so brave and patriotic such that they are prepared to die, especially for their country? Maybe because of the history of the list of the many unappreciated and unsung heroes of our country, heroism isn’t exactly high on our mental scale of preference. Are we ever going to be patriotic? Is it ever going to happen?

What a day

So my friend got married today and I was definitely going to be there. However due to my very weird habit of procrastination and lateness I did not leave the house until after 1pm. I decided to take a bike to get to the reception in good time (as i had already missed the church wedding). I climbed the bike with my short gown and boom I heard the tear... the slit had just become longer. Praying and hoping that the damage wasn't bad at all, we continued the ride until the bike started acting up in the middle of the road... just my luck... I had to get down and I was going to take a bus this time. Trying to feel the extent of the damage I took another bus.

I was thinking to myself about the what kind of day i was having but it was my friend's wedding so it was a great day, it had to be (even though it wasn't looking like it). Now in the bus, ready to alight at the next bus-stop, I felt the slit and my heart sank. Yep, it was bad, so bad and too high. I knew I had to brave it, no other choice, hoping nobody saw anything too much, I got off the bus. I had to think fast. Thankfully it was by a market, so I just walked round and saw some scarves, I bought myself one and that went round my waist and fast.

I wasnt even in a hurry at that point again. No point. I pinged a couple of my friends to tell them about what had happened, I just kept walking down instead of taking another bus, I was looking for a tailor shop, to help me with my gown. I walked and walked but did not see a single tailor shop, not even one. At that point, i was upset, no doubt, but that wasn't going to change anything so I just went into the eatery in front of me and bought a cup of ice cream and sat by the AC. Yep, i was going to chill. There was nothing I could do but take a chill pill and relax. Then I went to the restroom to see the damage myself. I went in and stood in front of the mirror, I saw that ...well... it wasn't "disastrously" bad. I had no choice but to carry it gracefully and confidently as if it was the original slit, and that I did.

I went out and continued on to the reception. It wasn't far from the eatery. I walked into the venue and I forgot all about my slit drama. I had a great time. I danced non-stop, ate and drank too. My friend Bukky Smith..eh.. now Bukky Lawrence was married. We all danced together and I have happily lost my voice. I saw allll my friends, so happy to see them. Most of those I had not seen since our graduation. We all acted silly and had a fantastic time.

Time to go and fifteen minutes after, waiting at the bus-stop for a bus, the heavens opened on me. The rain beat me (like my friend will say) pasapasa (anyhow) *smiles*. I always have an umbrella with me so it wasn't so bad. Even under the rain, I was thinking of how much fun today has been.

Yeah it's been a great day... Happy Married Life Bukola and Kolawole Lawrence

She calls herself... Omosexy

Home gurl Omotola Jalade Ekeinde is doing her thing and apparently doing well for herself. She was recently spotted in London at a Press conference for Obi Emelonye's movie titled ''Last flight to Abuja''. You go gurl!!! At least thankfully this time Nigerians are in the news on a positive note

The fit of the trouser though...

Fingers crossed

On Big Brother Africa... Oh yeah, so I watch it every time I can, I think I started watching it since Uti's season, sue me because I love it. Its entertainment

Uti, Karen, even Ola and Chris had very bigggg personalities on the show, I'm guessing its a Nigerian thing. On the other hand, I don't understand Goldie. While I don't believe that anybody should be a copycat , I believe each individual is unique, but c'mon, people should be able to recognise a sharp Nigerian when they see one and Goldie is sort of hard to watch.

Prezzo is having the time of his life, playing her and in my opinion was playing Zainab too (before her exit) and I actually feel bad for Goldie because this guy is just a big ''one chance''.

A lot of babes loveeee bad boys which isn't a bad thing, it's a choice. Maybe because they are fun and ... well, have fun. Babes think that if they try to ''mother'' him a little he will change some of his bad habits and will become the ideal man. WRONG MOVE ladies. Most times, what you see is exactly what you get. People don't change just because you want them to.
 

I saw homegurl Goldie crying the other day over a very nonchalant guy, chineke, and my eyes are almost bulging out WHAT??? Is this a joke? OMG. Are we being punked? I feel bad because Goldie is in the player playa's web. I watch every time I can, hoping maybe by miracle or something... anything... she hears people shouting ''Noooooooooooooooo, Be sharp na'', and she sees what is truly going on and truly represent.

Rooting for you gurl...

Life is sooooo short, so short.

It seems like we often get lost with what our true purpose in life is. We just end up simply flowing with the motions of life and we know that we are not happy or content but we still continue for different reasons

The desire and zest towards the vain things of life can be so overwhelming and empowering. Sometimes we need to take a break and just chill... relax... and reflect

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE? - Family? Work? Relationships? Money? Fame?

Which is more important- this life or the life after

Sometimes we do reflect on these things and wonder... but then we forget...

We often forget
 

Oh dear

*sigh*