Many unmarried men and women hope, crave and pray to get married as soon as they have the means and a partner. Meanwhile married couples know that marriage is not particularly (“beans”) easy
Just recently, I heard very disturbing news of a young seemingly perfect happy couple and friends of the family. Smashingy handsome husband and light skinned hot gorgeous-looking wife. The type of situation that when you see them together, you pray for a married life just like theirs because it looks so perfect. Looks can be veryyyyyy deceiving.
Few nights ago, some peace making had to be done as the wife desperately called for help because she had been locked out of her house by her husband. She is a banker in one of these top banks in Nigeria. She works on the island and lives on Ikorodu, suburb, more like an outskirt of Lagos and she’s being getting home really late, around 11pm.
Apparently, her husband locks her out of their house and beats her blue black for coming home late. In addition, he will call her boss to accuse them of having an affair, so everybody in the office knows the situation because she comes in with some fresh and other fading scars and that spurs ruthless gossip about her in the office. Plenty of more gossip in her neigborhood too because most times she is locked outs, she camps at her neighour’s place and the news is up and around.
During a heart to heart, she explained how tough things had been, that for about two years now, he had stopped paying the bills- 2 children’s school fees, domestic bills, etc. Everything had been on her. I’m sure its not convenient and fun for anybody much less a woman to get home that late but that’s the circumstance she’s in and should be handled maturely.
What is baffling is that this man is also in the banking sector and is aware of how tight and tedious things are. He is lucky that he works in Ikorodu, where he stays. His wife said she has applied to be moved to Ikorodu branch but that hasn’t happened. To add icing to the cake, his parents live in the same compound with them but in different apartments and have never intervened or even accommodated her.
Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. Its the continuation of the rest of one's life, with someone else. Many people say their wedding vows, something about promising to love each other in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer for as LONG as they both shall live. It seems we just say those part of the vows as default and dont seem to realise that there will definitely be lean times and fat times, ups and downs, and you are promising to live together through it. Her husband should get a grip, man up and act responsible.
It irritates me when I hear or see an able-bodied man beat-up a woman. I mean that is the highest level cowardice ever. I mean if you need to fight and flex your muscles, pick your match.
A very dicey situation for the lady because I think her husband wants her to come home early and that obviously will not work ASAP on her present job. So probably getting a less demanding job is the way out but that might mean less pay, how then will she take care of 2 children, ONE big crybaby- her hubby and her extended family. On the other hand, Is it that easy to get another job, just like that? How and what does one advise her to do? Let her leave the abusive relationship before she loses her life or just manage the thing like that and hope he doesnt kill her in rage one day? *sigh*
Its not easy to advise and persuade her to leave before the stress, unhappiness or the beating kills her or does one tell her to remain in the house and “marriage” and keep praying, hoping for a change?
Personally, I dont pray for a situation like that but I will never remain in an abusive relationship.
It is however her decision and she has to figure it out.
Personally, I dont pray for a situation like that but I will never remain in an abusive relationship.
It is however her decision and she has to figure it out.
